We all go through hard times. And honestly, adulting is more about surviving hard times than enjoying the good times. Our expectations often surpass what the universe (Him, Krishna, Parashiv, Mahavishnu - read this as whatever name suits your beliefs) has planned for us leading to turmoil both physical and mental. I have been through a lot of hard times in my life and I have learned a lot from them. Most recent one lasted for about a month and was external in nature. Things that were out of my control and I had a hard time dealing with them. Gained a bit of weight, lost a lot of sleep, had a lot of anxiety, had resultant pimples on my face and was generally not in a good place. However, I was lucky enough to have developed a set of rules for my life that never let me off the track too much.

I am sharing this today because someone I respect a lot was going through a breakup, and he told me these words - “Just feeling useless everywhere, Seattle is feeling depressing, khatam ho chuka hoon, lost all body, health is declining”.

And this is not an isolated incident. I have this habit of checking up on my folks, and sometimes I sense when they are not doing well. Here are a few situations I have seen people with:

A friend got into a car accident in SF, tried to help the party slightly hit being an Indian; the party sued him for 100k. He was already trying to build a company and this was a huge setback. He was depressed for a few months, but bounced back.

A friend was preparing for UPSC since the last 3 years, wrote two mains, failed both, and was depressed for a few months. Looked for jobs, was unable to find one, and was depressed for a few months. Gained a lot of weight, lost a lot of sleep, had a lot of anxiety, had multiple breakdowns, but eventually got a job and is now doing well.

A friend had multiple marriage setbacks, his marriage was fixed twice, and both times it broke off. He was depressed for a few months, was unable to do anything, kept fixated on the girl, but eventually made peace with being single, lives with his family, earns a lot of money and travels a lot.

The point is - we all break. But we also heal. These rules help you heal faster and break less.

Rule 1: Wake Up at the Same Time Every Day

Your body is a machine. It needs routine. When everything else is falling apart, at least your body should know what to expect.

I wake up at 6:30 AM every day. Even on weekends. Even when I’m depressed. Even when I slept at 3 AM. Yes, it sucks for the first few days. But your body adapts.

Marcus Aurelius wrote: “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly.” But he still woke up. Every day.

Practical tip: Set one alarm. Don’t snooze. The moment it rings, feet on the floor. No phone for first 10 minutes.

Rule 2: Eat Real Food, Not Your Emotions

“तुलसी काया खेत है, मनसा भयौ किसान। पाप-पुन्य दोउ बीज हैं, बुवै सो लुनै निदान।”

The body is a field, the mind is the farmer. Good and bad deeds are seeds - you reap what you sow.

When I’m stressed, I want to eat everything or nothing. Both are wrong.

Keep it simple:

  • Eat three meals. Same time every day.
  • If you want to stress-eat, drink a glass of water first. Wait 10 minutes.
  • Cook one meal a day. Even if it’s dal-chawal. The act of cooking grounds you.
  • Keep nuts and fruits ready. When you’re sad, you’ll grab what’s nearest.

The British research shows that Mediterranean diet helps with depression. But honestly, if you’re Indian, just eat what your grandmother ate. Roti, sabzi, dal. That’s it.

When everything is falling apart, at least your body should get fuel, not punishment.

Rule 3: Sleep is Sacred

“निद्रा देवी प्रसीदेति” - Sleep is a goddess. Honor her.

You cannot think straight without sleep. Period.

Marcus Aurelius: “At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: ‘I have to go to work — as a human being.’”

My sleep rules:

  • Same time to bed. Even if you can’t sleep, lie down.
  • No phone 1 hour before bed. Seriously.
  • If racing thoughts, write them down.
  • Bedroom should be cold and dark.

Your problems will still be there tomorrow. But with sleep, you’ll handle them better.

Your mind repairs itself during sleep. Don’t rob it of that time.

Rule 4: Move Your Body Every Day

“शरीरमाद्यं खलु धर्मसाधनम्” - The body is the first instrument for dharma.

I don’t mean become a gym bro. I mean move.

When my friend was going through his lawsuit, he started working out 1.5 hrs daily. Just walking. He said those workouts saved his sanity.

Your body and mind are connected. When one hurts, move the other.

Simple movements:

  • Walk around the block
  • Stretch for 10 minutes
  • Dance to one song
  • Do pushups until you can’t

Exercise releases endorphins. But more than that, it proves to yourself that you can still do something when everything feels impossible.

Rule 5: Do One Thing You Can Control

“कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन” - You have the right to action alone, never to the fruits.

When everything is chaos, control what you can.

Clean your room. Do the dishes. Reply to that one email. Pay one bill.

Marcus Aurelius: “Confine yourself to the present.”

That UPSC friend? On his worst days, he would just organize his bookshelf. One shelf. That’s all. But it gave him a sense of control.

Start small. Success builds on success.

Rule 6: Call Someone You Trust

“धीरज, धर्म, मित्र अरु नारी। आपद काल परखिए चारी॥”

Patience, righteousness, friends, and partners - these four are tested in times of adversity.

Don’t suffer alone. Humans are not meant to be alone with their thoughts for too long.

Call your mom. Call your friend. Even if you just say “I’m not doing well.” That’s enough.

The marriage friend? He called his cousin every day for 6 months. Same time. Sometimes they just sat in silence on the phone.

You don’t need solutions from people. You need connection.

Rule 7: Write Three Things Down

Every night, write:

  1. One thing that went wrong today
  2. One thing that went right today
  3. One thing you’re looking forward to tomorrow

That’s it. No fancy journaling. No deep thoughts. Just three lines.

This comes from Marcus Aurelius’ practice of evening reflection. But simpler.

Your brain needs to process the day before it can rest.

Rule 8: Do One Kind Thing

“तुलसी मीठे बचन से, सुख उपजत चहुँ ओर। बशीकरण इक मंत्र है, परिहरु बचन कठोर॥”

Sweet words bring happiness all around. This is a magic charm - abandon harsh words.

When you’re drowning, help someone else float.

Text someone “thinking of you.” Help your neighbor with groceries. Smile at the security guard.

Kindness is medicine. For them and for you.

Marcus Aurelius: “Kindness is invincible.”

Rule 9: Accept That This Too Shall Pass

“न हि कल्याण-कृत्कश्चिद्दुर्गतिं तात गच्छति” - No one who does good ever comes to a bad end.

From the Gita. Even Arjuna, the greatest warrior, had moments of doubt and despair.

Krishna didn’t say “don’t be sad.” He said “do your duty despite the sadness.”

Every hard time in your life has ended. This one will too.

Pain is temporary. But the strength you build by going through it lasts forever.

Rule 10: Stop Checking Social Media

When you’re down, everyone else’s highlight reel will make you feel worse.

Uninstall apps if you have to. Your mental health is more important than knowing what your college friend had for lunch.

Marcus Aurelius didn’t have Instagram, but he wrote: “How much trouble he avoids who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does.”

Comparison is the thief of joy. And you don’t have joy to spare right now.

Rule 11: Have One Thing That Never Changes

“राम नाम मणि दीप धरु, जीभ देहरी द्वार। तुलसी भीतर बाहेरहुँ, जौं चाहसि उजियार॥”

Keep the lamp of Ram’s name at the door of your tongue. If you want light inside and outside, Tulsidas says this is the way.

For me, it’s reading the Gita and gym every morning. Same verses. Same workout. Same time.

For you, it could be:

  • Hanuman Chalisa
  • Morning coffee ritual
  • Walking the same route
  • Calling your parent

When everything is changing, have one thing that doesn’t.

Rule 12: Remember You Are Not Your Thoughts

“न त्वं शोचितुमर्हसि” - You should not grieve.

Your thoughts are like clouds. They come and go. You are the sky.

When the marriage friend was spiraling, he wrote this on his bathroom mirror: “I am not my thoughts. I am the one watching my thoughts.”

Marcus Aurelius: “You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

The voice in your head that says you’re finished? That’s not you. That’s just fear talking.

Final Thoughts

These aren’t magic. They won’t solve your problems. But they’ll help you stay human while you work through them.

Hanuman crossed the ocean not because he wasn’t scared, but because he remembered who he was despite the fear.

Ram went to exile not because it was easy, but because it was right.

You too have strength you don’t know about yet. These rules just help you find it.

जय श्री राम। हर हर महादेव।

Take care of yourself. You’re worth it.